FASlink Fetal Alcohol Disorders Society
You and I

You and I

This was written out of desperation by Dorthy Beckwith in '94 after a 4 week stay (by her daughter with FAS) in the Children's Psychiatric unit.

You and I

I am the parent You are the professional
I came to you out of respect. You treated me with disrespect.

I love my child. I know nothing.
You've worked a few hours with her. You know everything.

We need to be evaluated. You are above reproach.
You wrote a paper about me. It said everything I did wrong, nothing I did right.

I raise my voice. I am losing control.
You raise your voice. You are compiling information.

I am non-compliant. You don't like my advice.
My child is egocentric. You are egotistical.

A child with diabetes needs Insulin, a child with Epilepsy needs Dilantin.
A child with FAS/E needs Time Out?

Christina's hospital room is messy and unorganized. She does not get the White Glove Award she tried so hard to earn.
Your area is unkempt. Housekeeping hasn't come through yet.

I hesitate to act. I am inconsistent.
You are indecisive. You need to consult.

I bring an advocate to the team meeting. I'm disrupting the agenda.
You bring staff. You are collaborating.

I give you important information about the disability of fetal alcohol exposure. You don't have time to look at it.
You give me papers. I'm to read them and have them completely filled out by the next meeting.

I am honest and expose my life to you.
You ambush me in meetings and couch your words in reports.

I comment on behavior. I am over critical.
You comment on behavior. You are observant.

I tell you she has organic brain damage.
You tell me you will test her IQ.

I talk with you about the challenges and our unconditional love for Christina.
You keep bringing up the possibility of a failed adoption.

I am invested in using Fetal Alcohol as a rationale for treatment failure.
You are invested in using The Parent as the reason for treatment failure.