This was written
out of desperation by Dorthy Beckwith in '94 after a 4 week stay
(by her daughter with FAS) in the Children's Psychiatric unit.
You and I
I am the parent
You are the professional
I came to you out of respect. You treated me with disrespect.
I love my child.
I know nothing.
You've worked a few hours with her. You know everything.
We need to
be evaluated. You are above reproach.
You wrote a paper about me. It said everything I did wrong, nothing
I did right.
I raise my
voice. I am losing control.
You raise your voice. You are compiling information.
I am non-compliant.
You don't like my advice.
My child is egocentric. You are egotistical.
A child with
diabetes needs Insulin, a child with Epilepsy needs Dilantin.
A child with FAS/E needs Time Out?
hospital room is messy and unorganized. She does not get the White
Glove Award she tried so hard to earn.
Your area is unkempt. Housekeeping hasn't come through yet.
to act. I am inconsistent.
You are indecisive. You need to consult.
I bring an
advocate to the team meeting. I'm disrupting the agenda.
You bring staff. You are collaborating.
I give you
important information about the disability of fetal alcohol exposure.
You don't have time to look at it.
You give me papers. I'm to read them and have them completely filled
out by the next meeting.
I am honest
and expose my life to you.
You ambush me in meetings and couch your words in reports.
I comment on
behavior. I am over critical.
You comment on behavior. You are observant.
I tell you
she has organic brain damage.
You tell me you will test her IQ.
I talk with
you about the challenges and our unconditional love for Christina.
You keep bringing up the possibility of a failed adoption.
I am invested
in using Fetal Alcohol as a rationale for treatment failure.
You are invested in using The Parent as the reason for treatment